why do I always do this? I always fall for people thinking they could only ever be good to me and never hurt me and then they turn around and stab me in the back. the problem is, I fall for the wrong people, i trust the wrong people. I put my trust into the completely wrong person, I’ll pour my heart out to them and then they will turn around and use it against me as a weakness. why is it I can’t find one right person, even if it doesn’t last, why can’t I just have one person be truthful with me from the get go? I’m done. I’m done with the lying, the cheating, the tears, the hurt. I’m done with the anger that I can’t seem to get out, anger that I feel towards everyone, I really wish I wasn’t though. it’s not fair to the people that haven’t done anything to hurt me. because when I do find someone worth my trust, I always push them away, they try to get close and break down this wall I’ve created over time, but I don’t let them. with only good intentions in their hearts, I push them as far away as possible and let the wrong people in because I know, they won’t try to break down that stupid wall because I’ll tell them everything I’ve ever kept secret about me. acually, scratch that. being in any type of relationship terrifys me. i have no clue why and it sucks. im just not good at that stuff. im scared. im frustrated. i hate feelings.